It's 3:34am and I can't sleep.
I have decided this is the worst feeling in the world. Ok, maybe not the actual worst feeling. I'm not so far removed from reality that I don't acknowledge that there are far more tragic feelings than being exhausted and not being able to close off the universe long enough to catch some Z's. There are calamities among us on a daily basis, and those elicit the absolute worst feelings, I am sure. But for me, right now, right here, this is the worst feeling in the world.
To be tired but not sleepy.
Count sheep. Ha! The problem with this is two-fold. The OCD in me is frustrated that the darn sheep don't stay in equally proportionate pens, or they stray from the flock altogether. Or worse, there's a few black sheep among them and I can't keep tabs on where they are or what they're up to. Secondly, and more absurdly, I'm so focused on not losing my place in my count, that I stay awake even more as not to forget what number I'm on. Being Type-A has always worked for me. Until the sheep come back to the fold.
Imagine a blank piece of paper. With nothing on it. Seriously? I'm a list-maker. I make lists of the lists I need to make. And you want to offer me up a sheet of paper? Does the universe not know me at all? A blank sheet of paper, crisp and clean, is an open invitation to enumerate the many things that must be keeping me up in the first place. I might as well open the drawer in my nightstand, pull out my journal and start off with "Dear Diary..."
4:19am. Scrambled eggs and toast.
Warm milk. A tried and true solution to insomnia. I'll use that tall pink Mickey Mouse mug, the one we picked up on our last trip to Disneyland. Oh! Disneyland! I was supposed to look online and see what rides are scheduled to be closed for refurbishment in October, cause I'm thinking of a weekend getaway, but if Thunder Mountain Railroad is closed, it's a no go. Oh no, what if it is...? Should I push the trip back to November? That reminds me, did you know November is National Pomegranate Month? Did you even KNOW there was a whole month devoted to pomegranates? Pomegranates are over-rated. They're pretty, and tasty in theory, but have you ever actually tried to eat one without making a mess? I have a Hard Rock t-shirt from Sacramento that still has pomegranate stains on it from like forever ago. Actually, I guess it really doesn't matter. The Hard Rock in Sac closed eons ago. It was a short-lived giant gold guitar in the middle of the K Street Mall. I remember when I was in high school and our choir went on trip to the K Street Mall to serenade bustling shoppers with Christmas Carols or something and we ate dinner at the Spaghetti Factory - is it Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory or just THE Spaghetti Factory? - it seems like at one point or another, it's been both. I wonder where those pictures are of Todd and I hanging spoons on our noses? Is Hard Rock even cool anymore? I remember when it was the pinnacle of coolness (cooldom?) to sport a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt, preferably from some obscure location that none of my friends had ventured off to. But I'm thinking it's lost it's edge. You don't see shirts everywhere, and the cafes are closing down left and right, although we did spot one in the Cayman Islands, which really, didn't surprise me much. The Cayman Islands has everything. Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. The Royal Bank of Canada, which is so funny, since it's not even in Canada. Ah! Canadian Thanksgiving! I knew something important was coming up. That's the best part about straddling two countries. Twice the turkey. Twice the pumpkin pie. Did I ever print off that recipe I found for Pumpkin Pecan Pie? I wonder what I did with that? I really want to try it this year. I am so glad we didn't see the effects of the pumpkin shortage that everyone was talking about last year. I mean, I stocked up on canned pumpkin anyway, just out of principle, but we are so lucky it wasn't the pumpkin catastrophe the news was calling for....
...can you imagine if I actually went with the blank sheet of paper method?